Blog #3 Jael

I really enjoyed listening to the women that spoke in class. It was really interesting hearing her experience at synanon as a child. I also found it helpful to hear her side of the events that happened and how she perceived all the craziness as a child. It was really neat hearing her say she was at certain events and experienced certain things  that I had read about in either the books or through my research.

She started talking about how crazy her life was yet to her it was all she had knew so it seemed so normal to her. Though all the craziness at synanon she used music to escape it all. Music was apart of her life from the beginning and listening to certain songs bring back many memories. She shares her memories through music because ever since she was young she was listening to her dad play. Her dad was a drummer in the Synanon band called the Sounds of Synanon. The sounds of Synanon was a very popular band that would perform at the parties and even the outside community would come to listen to them play. Music was her only sense of normal. As she was living in the dorms people would be getting screamed at so she would go to her room and put on headphones and would listen to a CD that they had. She would put it on replay and it helped her to escape from her reality and into another world. Without music it would have been very hard for her and music is till very important in her life today.

She lived in the resident dorms with all the children which were all very diverse. She mentions that the people that took care of the kids did not know what they were doing. The people that took care of the kids were ex cons and recovering drug addicts. They had never had kids of their own so they were not nourishing nor understanding of the kids needs which was not beneficial for the children. They ran the place like a military school. They had the kids march in a line and if the kids misbehaved the children were spanked. However, the children did have a lot of freedom from the adults. The adults were so preoccupied with the traditions of synanon and so involved in themselves and the other adults that they would forget about the kids. The kids would ride the horses and go deep into the hills and go exploring. They were left to themselves for a lot of the time unless one got into trouble and needed to be disciplined. For school they did not go every day but it would vary. There teachers  were college professors or people that were experienced in the field. At random times the teachers would decide they are going to teach so they would have an intense session for one week where they would learn and study for about fifteen hours a day.Then they would go another couple weeks with no school. They were still learning and she learned a lot especially because it was all hands on learning and that was easier for her to learn in that way. Everyone was very sheltered from what was going on in the world because they could not get much information on the radio.

She mentioned that synanon would come up with new crazy traditions and would give no explanation as to why they had to this. They had to start shaving their heads and everyone was bald. Randomly the leaders thought the synanon people were getting fat so they had everyone go on a weight program and were given hardly any food even the kids. She talked about how when Chuck told everyone they had to leave their married partner and find a new partner, it led to a crazy period and people started questioning Chuck. Even the children at sixteen had to get with a partner chosen from Chuck and marry them. The men and even the boys at sixteen had to get a sysectomine. I find this so cruel that they would have boys at only sixteen having to go through that. It seems so unreasonable and harsh. Her parents had been married for a long time so when chuck said they had to switch partners it caused a big scene. Her dad would not have it and told chuck he would not switch partners. Chuck did not budge and told her dad if you do not want to follow the rules then you can leave. So that is exactly what her dad did. He left Synanon and moved to Reno Nevada. Her mom obeyed Chuck and married the partner chuck had for her and they are still together today.

Her dad had tried to fight for custody for her but he could not win and only got visiting privileges  so she would go visit him every once in awhile and take the bus. It was a new experience being able to go outside synanon. In Reno she was always fidgety and on guard because she never been around “normal” people before. She felt more comfortable around ex cons, dope phenes and drug addicts because she had been around these people her whole life and didn't know anything else so she felt at ease with these kinds of people.Her dad would grow his own weed and he would smoke a lot. She then took about a pound of weed and hid it very well and took it back to synanon. She and her friends would get high without the adults ever finding out.

As synanon was transitioning and getting out of hand a lot of the kids realized they needed to find a way out. One of the only ways they would be able to leave is if they went to college so at seventeen she left to go Cabrillo Community college then later transferred to UC Davis. She hit the ground running and was experiencing everything she could to make up for lost time. She loved what she was doing and never stopped to reflect on her life and how she felt about everything she had gone through till way  later in her life. For a while she did not know what to think of her childhood because it had been so extreme. Being at synanon had taught her to be very independent and experience individuality. All of her peers from syanon grew up to be entrepreneurs that work for themselves and are all artists.

She is now a mom and has two kids. Before she had two kids she was afraid she would not have a maternal instinct  since her mom never did. But she saw that she does have maternal instinct. She raises her kids in a way so they can experience life and experience everything she could not as a child.

Hearing her story I am shocked at how normal she is. She does not sound bitter or resentful for having to be brought up in synanon. She seems to look at the positive side of what synanon taught her instead of dwelling on all of the negative things it brought. Usually children who have hard and rough childhood or grew up in extreme conditions like synanon have a very hard time as adults. She seemed like she was a very motivated individual. She was able to make it to UC davis which is a very good school without any real type of schooling except community college. This is an example of being able to accomplish anything as long as your mind is committed to do so. She didn't let her childhood stop her from experiencing life and I find it interesting that she never really reflected back on her life till much later. I think this was a coping mechanism because she probably wouldn't know what to make up of it as a college student.